Newborn babies are ugly.
This is a truth I came to terms with long ago.
Now I know this little rant is going to tick off a lot of people – especially the new parents currently sitting on their couch, holding said ugly newborn in their arms, crying because they’re so exhausted from burping, bathing and wiping it down.
Don’t take it personally. They all look that way.
Whether we like it or not, we come in to this world looking like wrinkly, naked mole rats. And we go out, looking more or less, the same.
Sure, these little mole rats eventually start looking a bit like the parents who made them, but for the better part of the first six months they’re pink and wrinkly – and dare I say it? A little bit alien-like.
So imagine the horror I experienced when my brother and his wife told me in December that they were expecting their first child.
My first thought: How exciting! My second thought: God, I hope this kid is cute.
Flash forward to July.
I’m hanging out with some friends last Friday night, and I get a text from my brother: “Megan’s water broke; we’re going to the hospital.”
First thought: What?! Second thought: It’s too early. Third thought: Again. God, I hope this kid is cute.
As it so happens, my brother’s baby boy happens to be the cutest dang thing I’ve ever seen. Perfect complexion, adorable pouty lips, the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Oh and did I mention his skin? The softest!
He’s literally the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. And I’m not just saying that because I am his auntie (Who am I kidding? That’s totally the reason).
Having said this, the whole “fear of ugly babies” fiasco has helped me come to terms with a new truth: Sure, they look like little blobs – but they’re your little blobs. And I think that’s probably the coolest feeling in the world.
So congrats to my brother and his lady for creating the least alien-looking blob I’ve ever encountered. And to my nephew: I can’t wait for you to be the coolest little kiddo in the world.
Oh, and did I mention that we’re birthday twins?
BEST. PRESENT. EVER.
Keegan Prosser covers arts and entertainment for the Bellevuer Reporter.