Dear Rose,
When approaching a door, who should open it?
– Janet
Dear Janet,
The person who arrives at the door first should be the one to open it. In years past, only the man was to open the door for a lady,and sometimes establishments had a door opener/greeter.
Times have changed. If you get there first, open it and hold it for others. Even if you are alone and you open a door, take a moment and look behind you to see if there is anyone following you and hold the door open for them.
This is simple courtesy. When someone exhibits this nice gesture for you, be sure to tell them “Thank you.” It is truly irritating to hold a door and not hear “Thank you.” If you are following someone into an establishment and you find the door closing in your face, know that this person is neither a lady nor a gentleman, a condition that is far too common.
Dear Rose,
What is the rule regarding tipping the owner of the hair salon where I am a customer?
– Hair-plexed
Dear Hair-plexed,
There seems to be much confusion over this topic. Many small shop owners charge more for their services and do not take tips as a result. The best way to learn the right approach to this situation is to ask the person when you make your next appointment “Does the owner with whom I have my appointment, accept tips”? You can also directly ask the owner when you meet at your next appointment.
At a luxurious hair salon you tip 20 percent of the total bill to your hairdresser and or colorist; $2 to the shampoo person; and a $2 minimum or 15 percent to the manicurist.
At more modest establishments, the rule formerly was to tip at lower rates. Not true now. The employees of these establishments work just as hard as the people at the upscale places and deserve the same respect.
Dear Rose,
I was at the store and the cashier and a customer stood and talked for over three minutes while I waited. They talked about their children, the movies and the Academy Awards without any regard to my time constraints. I was fuming but said nothing. Now I am mad at myself for letting them treat me this way. What should I have done?
– Fuming
Dear Fuming,
I am with you on this one. You are in that store on business and you have a right to not be subjected to the idle chit chat of others.
There are various approaches, but none are quite so effective as telling the cashier you do not appreciate having to wait while they catch up on the latest. I would not interrupt, at least not the first time this happened, as one instance of bad manners is not a valid excuse for two instances of bad manners.
After they are done, in a calm voice, tell the cashier that you have higher expectations of the store and next time he or she needs to gossip, to take you out of turn so you will be spared the irritation of listening to them. With any luck, the message will get through.
Rose Dennis has 14 years experience as a tenured college professor at Edmonds Community College, teaching classes in Fashion, Retail, Marketing and Business Management. She can be contacted at askrose@live.com.
