I have been shocked and captivated recently by the stories of bullied-teen suicides. Since I have been teased, but never bullied, I watched for stories and examples of bullying in an effort to understand.

One night we watched a show called “Hell’s Kitchen,” and there was a perfect example of a bully complete with name-calling, screaming, belittling, and demeaning. I understand that the premise of the show is working in hell for a demanding boss, but from what I’ve seen of Gordon Ramsay, I doubt that he would condone similar bullying behavior from his children.

I would think that bullying never brings about excellence, only mental and physical illness manifested by doubt and fear. Perhaps it’s more important to him find a chef who is as tough as sirloin cooked in a microwave.

I also have been asking friends and acquaintances if they were bullied when they were young. My question was like breaching a dam for one man. It set off on a torrent of tales about the life of a fat kid in the inner city.

In middle school, he had been daily extorted for money, kicked, beaten, and pushed around. It was chocked up to “racial tension,” and no one, not his parents, school staff or law enforcement did anything to intervene.

As a matter of self-preservation, he learned coping strategies. He thinks that a benevolent school counselor made a way for him to go to a public college-prep high school even though he was not academically qualified, and had not even applied. It only took one person to change his life for the better, forever. And he never found out who it was.

But now bullying and dirty tricks are all dressed up with nifty electronic devices. A crusty old newspaper editor from bygone days could only dream about the kind of immediate influence in the hands of our children. The two students who perpetrated what they thought was just a prank on Tyler Clementi (broadcasting his sexual encounter live over the internet) had lots of knowledge, but no sense. They did not possess the wisdom or the experience to self-edit. They lacked the universal moral code of the Golden Rule that was the common bond among people not so long ago.

A lot of kids in their late teens and early twenties have no concept of the phrase “upon further reflection.” Every thought, every action, every joke, no matter how profound, rude, or damaging can be disseminated instantly. The means to pulling a “prank” or bullying someone to death is available at all times. There is no waiting period, no common sense of the morning to bring light to something destructive.

Tyler’s death was not in vain. We now know that we need to be very, very specific about what is right and wrong, because things that are wrong can be utterly despicable. And deadly.

Patty Luzzi has lived on the Eastside for 33 years. Readers can contact her at pattyluzzi@yahoo.com.