‘Can You Hear Me Now?’ | Pat Cashman

It’s fashionable to bash Congress these days – and also a lot of fun. But it’s simply not fair to say that they have done nothing in 2010. After all, Congress has just put forth bold, sweeping legislation to make TV commercials less loud.

It’s fashionable to bash Congress these days – and also a lot of fun. But it’s simply not fair to say that they have done nothing in 2010. After all, Congress has just put forth bold, sweeping legislation to make TV commercials less loud.

People who run TV stations have fielded angry complaints from viewers since the days of Uncle Miltie (now there’s a hip reference).

CALLER TO TV STATION: “Why are the damn commercials so damn much louder than the damn programs?”

Damn good question.

A switchboard operator at a TV station I once worked for would answer such inquiries with, “I’m sorry, could you please speak up?” She was only a switchboard operator for about a week before being transferred to sales.

I have written and produced TV commercials for years, but I can’t say I have ever intentionally tried to make them louder. I just try to make them audible.

My basic rule is that if a TV commercial is piercing enough to make blood trickle out of a viewer’s ears – it’s too loud.

One time I produced a TV commercial that intentionally had no audio – only video. My thought was that the mere absence of sound would make viewers look up from their tortellini and pay closer attention. But my advertising client thought he should only have to pay 50 percent of the cost of the production – since he was only getting half of what a TV commercial offered. I reluctantly gave him the discount.

A friend of mine insists it’s not the loudness of TV commercials that’s the problem. It’s that local TV itself has long ago run out of ideas – and that viewers blame commercials when they should rightfully blame TV itself.

He especially cites local TV news during last month’s snowstorm. “How many times do we need to see a reporter standing outside somewhere,” he asks. “And then bending down and grasping a handful of snow and holding it toward the camera as if it is an alien material from another planet?”

His point is that all TV reporters seem to do the same routine. “Just once,” he says, “I’d like to see Jim Forman fall over backwards on live TV – and start doing a snow angel.”

Some observers wonder how the medium of radio has ducked the accusation of being just as strident commercial-wise as television. The difference may be that in the case of radio – particularly in the arena of talk shows – the reverse phenomenon occurs: The programs – and their blathering hosts – are far louder and more annoying than the commercials.

The bottom line is that quieter TV ads probably will be a welcome thing. That way we viewers will more easily be able to hear the other stuff that TV serves up, including my new favorite quotation from a recent celebrity interview:

FEMALE CELEBRITY: “My parents taught me to be a very humble person – and I’m super proud of that.”

That’s a classic remark at any decibel.

Pat Cashman can be reached at pat@patcashman.com.