By Debra C. Ronnholm, MA
We’ve all done it, the kid comparisons.
They can be a source of pride, as in, “Jane was the first in her PEPS group to walk!” Or panic: “All the other babies are starting to talk, but all I get from Joshua is gibberish.”
More often than not, the “slow” walkers catch up to the fast ones, and the gibberish-spouting babe develops a gift for gab. Children develop according to their own timelines, the Joneses be darned.
You’ll save yourself a lot of angst, not to mention help your child, if you simply stay abreast of normal developmental milestones and nurture your child’s natural capacity to bond and communicate, learn and grow.
That doesn’t mean you have to plug in the Baby Mozart. Your child’s development happens in the course of the relationship he forms with you, your face responding to and mirroring his expressions and needs.
So love, enjoy and have fun with your baby. Don’t worry, you won’t “spoil” him. That’s impossible at this age.
As he gets older, you can help him discover and interact with his environment by playing with him, reading books, walking through the neighborhood, digging in the dirt, or simply making engaging observations: “That’s a dog. What does a doggie say?”
Even with all this help and stimulation, his learning trajectory will be more jagged than straight. Just because he was able to tie his shoes yesterday doesn’t mean he’ll be able to do it today. Children may fall back several times before they finally master a skill (as any parent who’s gone through potty training knows).
By observing and interacting with your child, you’ll probably become aware of any developmental concerns: an abrupt change in behavior, say, or a lack of response or engagement. That’s the time to seek the opinion of a professional who can assess the situation and advise options, including screening tests and therapy.
Here’s where it helps to have a comfortable relationship with your pediatrician and nurse. You should feel like you can bring up questions and concerns as they arise.
The adage, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question,” applies here, but it helps to have a general knowledge of what your child should be doing at what age. Most doctors give out simple-to-understand developmental check lists to parents at each well-child visit.
Information is also available online, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Some Web sites we’ve found useful: www.talaris.org; www.zerotothree.org; www.childtrauma.org and www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/preschool.html.
If nothing else, learning about everything that’s going on in your child’s brain and body will give you a deeper appreciation for this remarkable little being who’s changing before your eyes.
Debra C. Ronnholm is President of Childhaven. Since 1909, the agency has cared for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. For more information, visit the Web site at www.childhaven.org.
