I graduated from Newport High School 25 years ago, and am thinking about attending our reunion this month. I have to ask myself what my expectations are for this gathering.

Is it to impress people? Network? Catch up with an old flame who is now married with children?

I am nowhere near the professional and personal gains I set out for myself, and am sheepish to say I am not using my English degree, but cashiering. I’ve been exercising, trying to get into my old high school blue jeans, but that’s not looking good.

I attended the 10-year and 20-year reunions. At the 10 year, they had a program where they highlighted graduates with the most interesting jobs, people who married their high school sweethearts and so on. It felt like a competition.

At the 20-year gathering, the passage of time started showing on peoples’ faces, and you learn that your school mates have endured the joys and challenges of life. Some are married for the first time, or the third, have children, or not, others have enjoyable jobs, or are unemployed.

At the reunion this month people will have moved through divorce, death, caretaking of parents and children, addictions or architecting new life goals.

Then there are our bodies not responding like they did at 16; weight gain and hair loss are reality, but I remember women from the last reunion who still fit into their cheerleading outfits!

It’s hard not comparing yourself, but I hope I have gained enough wisdom to have compassion for myself and my decisions, good and bad. Bellevue is an excellent place for finding support whatever your struggles, mental, physical or spiritual, or maybe by this time in our lives it is all three. I know this first hand because of dealing with a chronic illness.

There is a saying that you learn to trust the perfection of your life experience, no matter what that experience is. I recall pictures and stories of those from our class who are no longer with us. It makes me realize that whatever struggles I face, it’s not that I have to go to my 25-year high school reunion, it’s that I can – even if I can’t fit in those old high school blue jeans.

Marnie DelCarmen lives in Bellevue.