The holidays are here, and with them come the upset of family routines. Schools out, parties abound and there are new gifts to play with. No wonder kids ask for leniency on family rules. So how do you know where to draw your boundaries?
“First, there’s no hard rule that you can’t be flexible when it makes sense,” says Debbi Halela, Director of General Counseling at Youth Eastside Services. “What’s important is that your child, no matter the age, understands that you’re making an exception.” Following are some guidelines to help you:
Bedtime & Curfew — While regular bedtime for younger kids and curfews for teens are good to maintain during the holidays, they can be later. Involve your kids in setting their nighttime boundaries and reach an agreement on what will work best for everyone.
Parties — When kids are invited to parties, take the time to ensure that parents will be there. Make sure your child understands that drinking and drugs will not be tolerated. Lay out clear consequences for breaking these rules, but also let them know you’ll pick them up if necessary, no matter the situation. Surveys show that 50 percent of teen partygoers reported alcohol available at the party.
Kids & Alcohol — Keep in mind that the free-flowing alcohol at many holiday parties can present a ripe opportunity for curious teens. Remember to limit your own consumption as you’re modeling behavior for your kids. Most importantly, remember that telling your child it‘s against the family rules for them to drink alcohol and then offering them some on special occasions gives the message that drinking is okay.
Chores — The last time I looked, my chores don’t go away no matter how much fun I’m having! This is a good opportunity to help your kids prioritize and learn to manage their work and fun.
Holidays can also be a great opportunity to have more quality family time. While kids are out of school, take advantage of time to play a board game or watch an old favorite movie. Encourage the family to join you in the kitchen for meal preparation or holiday baking. Some of the most memorable holiday traditions can be simple activities that take place in your own home.
Patti Skelton-McGougan is executive director of Youth Eastside Services. For more information, call 425-747-4937 or go to www.youtheastsideservices.org.