The Eastside can be quite lovely this time of year. But all is not bliss. For one thing, Bellevue residents are having trouble sleeping.
From Kelsey Creek to Bridle Trails, Crossroads to Newport Hills – people are tossing and turning. The exception is Clyde Hill where there is only turning.
Of course, Bellevue’s not exceptional when it comes to sleeplessness – it’s epidemic around the nation. When more serious concerns like sleep apnea are ruled out, experts say it’s mostly our modern lifestyles – early rising, late nights, quadruple lattes – that are causing all the sleep disorder.
Recently, the rumor goes, an Overlake man slept-walked out of his house, wandered around for several blocks until he arrived at City Hall and then sat through a city council meeting – which put him into an even deeper sleep.
The next day, when his doctor told him that he was a somnambulist, the man punched the physician in the nose, saying, “Say what you will about me, Doc, but you can’t talk about my mother like that.”
Luckily, sleepwalking is relatively rare. Occasional insomnia is not. Fortunately, there are lots of tips you can try to fall asleep. The main idea is to think and do things so boring, that you nod off. Perhaps reading this column is doing the trick.
The time-honored practice of counting sheep works well for some people. Personally, I substitute rabbits for sheep. Rabbits jump better – and I like angora over wool.
Doctors say you should also make sure you have a good mattress. I hear they are available for a very nice price at certain places – if you’re not picky about color. In fact, some people fall asleep at night by counting their sleep number bed settings.
The ancient Romans ate onions to induce sleep. Onions are also a good way to be sure of sleeping alone.
A friend of mine invented a technique that he says always works for him. It works like this: In alphabetical order, think of people whose first and last names begin with the same letter – for example, Alan Alda, Betty Boop, Charlie Chaplin and so on.
Unfortunately, rather than boredom, some of us find the practice so interesting that they wind up wider-awake than ever. By the way, keep the name of motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar in mind should you ever get that far. I always get stuck at ‘Q.’ Perhaps Don Quixote had a brother named Quincy?
Visualizing something joyful works for some people. For women, it might be the Clinique counter at Nordstrom; for men, maybe a 50-inch flat screen.
If nothing else seems to work, here’s yet another idea that’s making the rounds: sleep with your head facing north. This aligns your body with the magnetic fields of the earth. For Bellevue residents it means your head should be pointed toward Kirkland/Redmond – with feet aimed at Renton.
People who have tried the “head pointed north” technique don’t report much improvement in sleep. But some notice increased moss on their heads, which can be quite lovely this time of year.
Pat Cashman can be reached at pat@patcashman.com.
