Last month I shared with you some of the drug trends in our local neighborhoods. As alarming as drug and alcohol use may be, there are other issues plaguing our kids. Chief among them are stress and depression.
Stress comes from a lifestyle of always being connected, problems at school, over achieving expectations from parents, and a rigorous academic load. The important thing is for kids to learn ways to de-stress with music, exercise and down time.
Depression is also a major issue among kids today and likely at the root of the increases in teen suicides seen in the area over the past year. In the Healthy Youth Survey, taken by students in all public schools across the state, 23 percent of local 8th, 10th and 12th graders have felt depressed in the past year. It’s most alarming that 14 percent seriously contemplated suicide. The best thing for kids who are depressed is professional help.
Adolescence is a time when the brain is growing and changing, and it’s often the time that mental health issues begin to emerge. One in every five young people suffers from mental health issues at any given time. Unfortunately an estimated two-thirds of them are not receiving the help they need.
Many kids are also dealing with being bullied, sometimes every day. Bullying is not a new problem, but with the internet, we’re seeing it take different forms and escalate to the point that the young people who have been bullied commit suicide, as happened just recently with an Issaquah teen. Sometimes the bullying takes the form of social isolation, other times it may be physical or verbal. And sometimes it occurs in texts or via social media sites.
Kids who are bullied don’t enjoy school, and many suffer with the effects of bullying well into adulthood. Parents should check in with their children and ask specifically about bullying. Do they know at least one adult at their school they could talk to if they or a friend was being bullied? If not, help them consider who that might be. Also advise children to avoid bullies and try to stick with a friend at recess, on the bus, or when walking home. And encourage them to stick up for others who are being bullied.
Another problem many of our young people are dealing with is teen dating violence. In a recent survey nearly one in 10 teens reported they had been physically abused by a romantic partner in the past 12 months. In another survey, more than 80 percent reported emotional abuse. And one in four reported being threatened or harassed online or using texts.
Youth Eastside Services offers the only area resource for teen dating violence. In addition to specialized individual counseling, there is a support group and a peer prevention/education program to help teens recognize and avoid violent or controlling relationships. Believe it or not, some of our young people don’t know that love shouldn’t hurt.
What adults can do
These issues are happening in our neighborhoods to our kids. The best thing you can do as an adult is to engage with kids. Building relationships will help you know what’s going on in your child’s life and enable you to spot early signs of problems—like ongoing sadness, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, or a loss of interest in activities or school.
There is no shame in asking for help. People can thrive if they are given the right tools and support—even those who have suffered emotional wounds or face mental health challenges. And when youth confront and successfully deal with these problems, the entire community benefits by reductions in juvenile crime, family violence, substance abuse and more—today and as they grow to be adults.
