One of my great privileges is to occasionally be asked to be an emcee or auctioneer for fundraisers. Thus I found myself some nights ago at an event for the remarkable Bellevue Youth Theatre.
The theater stages 10-11 productions a year – featuring kids, adults, people with disabilities and seniors. It is a genuine local treasure.
On the aforementioned night, the fundraising event was built around the performance of all the familiar songs from “The Wizard of Oz” – leading up to the stage production the following week. My job was to offer some narration between songs:
“Our story begins at an old farmhouse in Kansas. What kind of place is Kansas? Take Enumclaw and spread it out. That’s Kansas.”
The story’s heroine, Dorothy, has a dog named Toto – so named because ‘To’ just didn’t seem long enough.
Dorothy and Toto decide to run away and bump into a guy named Professor Marvel. The professor points out that there’s a tornado coming – bringing high winds and driving rain. “I’ll have complete details in my forecast tonight at 11,” he says. But they can’t wait that long.
To create the frenzy of the windstorm, a Youth Theatre kid walked out on stage with a small box fan, plugged it in – and then turned it on me at the podium.
The narration continued amidst the tempest:
“Dorothy gets knocked unconscious by a flying window from the storm. It was blown glass, but Chihuly was nowhere in sight.”
After the farmhouse lands in Munchkin land (and the fan is turned off), Dorothy notices she’s wearing ruby slippers. She’d seen a pair just like them at the Kansas City Nordstrom. She makes a mental note to return them for a full refund.
Glinda (the Good Witch) – and the Munchkins – tell Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road to a gated community called Oz, “Where a wizard can help you get back to Kansas. Or at least to Pullman.”
Dorothy realizes she needs to get there before springtime. Otherwise she’ll have to pay a toll to cross the Yellow Brick Bridge – as much as $3.75 during peak times.
Along the way, she meets up with a Scarecrow, who immediately starts whining because he doesn’t have a brain. Dorothy thinks to herself: “Yea, but why focus on that? You also don’t have a spleen, gall bladder or reproductive system.”
Eventually, the Scarecrow – along with a Tin Man and a Cowardly Lion – agree to accompany Dorothy to Oz. They plan not only to ask for a brain, heart and courage, but also hope to check out Oz’s new Ikea.
The group soon enters a haunted forest. Think of Bridle Trails without the nice houses and horses. Meanwhile, the Wicked Witch has been monitoring their every move – both on her crystal ball – and on Facebook.
When the troupe finally arrives outside the gates of Oz, they’re told, “The Wizard’s too busy to see you. Maybe you should try tweeting him.”
Finally, the Wizard grants them an audience and agrees to help them – provided they can go and kill the Witch. “Or at least put her on injured reserve.”
The group heads off toward the Witch’s castle – not sure exactly where it is – but they’d heard it’s somewhere in Medina.
After a furious encounter with the Witch, someone accidentally douses her with a bucket of water. So much for her bucket list. The Witch melts like a smore.
As everyone knows, at the end of the story, Dorothy wakes up back in her familiar Kansas farmhouse. She declares, “There’s no place like home.” And then adds, “Because when you’re at home – even a 7 and 9 team has a chance to win a playoff game.”
The cast at the Bellevue Youth Theatre performed wonderfully that night. But the showstopper happened in the middle of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” when the small dog playing “Toto” suddenly decided to relieve himself right there on stage.
And, oh, what a wonderful whiz it was.
Pat Cashman can be reached at pat@patcashman.com.
