A woman was once arrested and charged with second-degree assault for throwing a slice of cheese pizza at an umpire during a Little League baseball game.
The umpire threw the woman’s son out of the game for unsportsmanlike conduct. She could not believe that the rules of the game applied to her son and thought that he should get a pass for his bad behavior.
If parents do not hold children accountable for their actions, I can assure you, life certainly will. I have been a Little League and college umpire for more than 10 years. I have personally witnessed such bad behavior on the part of parents that the police had to be called to their 7-year-old’s game.
I have also umpired college games where the language directed at the umpire would make a sailor blush. Why is it that people who are generally law-abiding, taxpaying citizens become raving lunatics when they disagree with the call made by the umpire?
Participating in sports does not build character — it reveals character. Athletic activities are supposed to teach children how to persevere, how to play together and to keep their eye on the prize. Bad calls made by the umpire are part of the deal. These lessons get overlooked to the detriment of children, and ultimately society, in this culture where winning is everything.
When coaches scream and holler at the umpire, it gives fans permission to do the same. Kids watch this behavior and they too are given permission to think this is an acceptable way to act. And we wonder why young people are so rude and disrespectful.
Parents spend thousands of dollars for private lessons; they buy expensive gear and even travel around the country so their kids can play in tournaments.
I have witnessed parents and coaches screaming at the kids for making a mistake. I am not quite sure what the lesson is in that type of behavior. Are you? What are the children supposed to learn? That they are a bad investment?
I believe that there is more to life than winning and money. Look at former NFL quarterback Michael Vick. He had a $130 million contract, and lost it because of his character flaws. I will assume no one ever held him accountable when he was growing up, and look at the results.
How parents teach these children to handle the noes in life is much more important than learning to handle the yeses.
Parents, for the most part, want to do right by their children. However, when you have a 12-year-old throwing a curveball, there is a price to pay. It might look good but, unfortunately, when kids are still developing, such physical demands often result in their no longer being able to throw any ball at 16. This is similar to giving a 6-month-old sleepless baby a Valium. It will work, but at what cost?
Some parents hope that investing all this time and money on little Johnny or Mary will result in an athletic scholarship to college. It could happen but, again, the chances are extremely slim.
We all want to win, but someone has to lose. If parents and coaches could just stop this out-of-control behavior for even a moment, they might notice the expression of shame and guilt on their kids’ faces. Maybe that would change their behavior.
What kids really want is to have fun. What they secretly yearn for, especially when they lose, is for their parents to tell them they did a good job, and that they are proud of them.
That would be a lesson to last a lifetime. No excuses.
Walter Backstrom’s columns appear in the Bellevue Reporter twice a month. Readers can contact him at wkbackstrom@aol.com.
